I'm still having trouble sleeping. Last night, at around 1am, I took a sleeping pill and fell asleep a few hours later feeling very loopy.
I know it sounds silly but I really feel I was lucky. I lay there afraid I had hurt my back pretty bad. My legs were all tingly and I crawled out of the bathroom and called my boyfriend. Of course there was crying and I was freaked out but I'm actually ok.
My lower back hurts, my left shoulder and neck are sore... it all hurts something awful but I am ok.
Thank you, God. I was so scared.
How pathetic is it that, for a few seconds, my major worry as I was on the floor was having to go to the emergency room? Not that I might have done real damage to my back or maybe I really did hit my head but that I would have to go to the emergency room and I couldn't afford it?
Life is so short. Too short for me to worry all the time about money and where I'm going to live in the next few months.
And I am just so tired of being stressed out and worried all the time. It's keeping me awake and affecting my health. And I know that I can't just stop being worried all the time but I am going to make (another) effort to try.
C'mon, Life. Let's get this party started.