When I'm upset, I go onto Pinterest and look at pretty things. I pin random things that make me smile. Sorry to my Pinterest Peeps for all the new pins this morning.
I'm mad. Like. Really mad and sad and losing sleep kind of mad. I don't like being one of those women who complains about her boyfriend all over the internet but that's why I'm upset.
My brother's first child is getting baptized on the 25th. I'm going to be a godmother to my little baby nephew. My boyfriend originally said he could come. But now, apparently, a scheduling mix-up and he has to go to a lecture that his friend invited him to many many weeks ago. A lecture his friend paid for and feels like he can't get out of.
He said to me, something to the effect of, "I feel like if I leave him, he'll have no one to go with. But there will be a lot of people at the baptism." Sooo... you're not needed? Yeah. A lot of people. Just my family. And it's not like I've been looking forward to this since my sister-in-law mentioned the godmother thing when my nephew was born in June last year.
He knows I'm mad. I told him I'm mad and upset. And yes, he feels terrible. And I understand. But I can't help being sad and disappointed. Plans had to be changed. I had to ask my sister-in-law if there's room for me at their house so I can spend the night since I can't make the trip back and forth in one day. I'm lucky they have a big house. I don't know what I'd do if there was no room for me.
My friend asked me last night if this was a deal breaker. Because I wanted to fight. I wanted to pick a fight and scream and yell. But her advice was that she only picks fight over things that could be deal breakers. I don't know. Almost 4 years together... my family is so important to me. Of course, I told him it's fine if he goes to the lecture. He feels he can't get out of it. It's important to his friend. I let him know I'm upset but he should go if that's what he wants. I can't make him back out on his friend. Just like he can't force me to stop being upset. Hell, I can't even stop myself.
My nephew. Adorable. I can't wait to be with him. And snuggle him. The second picture in the top row is my brother playing peek-a-boo. The last picture is my nephew and his brother, Kai. I can't wait to play with Kai... video games... maybe watch a movie?
Maybe I'll bring my beads again and we'll make some jewelry together.
Sigh. I'm exhausted. Being angry is tiring.
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