I'm still having trouble sleeping. Last night, at around 1am, I took a sleeping pill and fell asleep a few hours later feeling very loopy.
I woke up this morning... ok... really, around noon... and was very very groggy. But I had to get up.
I got in the shower... and I slipped. I fell out of the tub, hitting my lower back on the edge and landing on the stone floor more or less my upper back.
At the instant of falling, my instinct was to twist so I would fall on my back instead of my side... I think I would have hit my ribs against the tub instead of my back if I didn't twist.
My arms came up over my head and I remember holding my neck up so I wouldn't hit my head on the floor.
I know it sounds silly but I really feel I was lucky. I lay there afraid I had hurt my back pretty bad. My legs were all tingly and I crawled out of the bathroom and called my boyfriend. Of course there was crying and I was freaked out but I'm actually ok.
My lower back hurts, my left shoulder and neck are sore... it all hurts something awful but I am ok.
Thank you, God. I was so scared.
How pathetic is it that, for a few seconds, my major worry as I was on the floor was having to go to the emergency room? Not that I might have done real damage to my back or maybe I really did hit my head but that I would have to go to the emergency room and I couldn't afford it?
Life is so short. Too short for me to worry all the time about money and where I'm going to live in the next few months.
And I am just so tired of being stressed out and worried all the time. It's keeping me awake and affecting my health. And I know that I can't just stop being worried all the time but I am going to make (another) effort to try.
C'mon, Life. Let's get this party started.
